ok.. i feel as though i'm not making sense... let me back up. i don't think i have shared my story with you yet. i want you, my supporters/encouragers/prayer warriors, to know the story of how i was called to go on this haiti mission trip... so here it goes.
it all started several years ago when God laid haiti on my heart. aaron and i had looked into adoption and asked God to lead and for some reason he kept bringing up haiti. when God told us to put this on hold, we were unsure why but followed. two months later we found out we were pregnant with the girls. (sidenote: adoption is still very much on our hearts and know it is for our family. now we're just wait for Gods direction... i'll post that story later.) then, fast forward to several months ago. haiti came back... in everything. (sidenote #2: when God is trying to show me something.. he puts in everywhere and by everywhere.. i mean e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e) i remember first reading about the trip through a post on twitter and knowing at that very moment i was supposed to go. even though, i tried to make God work a little harder. i told him i would think about it but if aaron wasn't on board then i was out.. well, aaron was totally on board. then again, i said "yes God, but...". this time i told God i needed someone to go with me, someone i knew, that also had kids they would be leaving here so we could take this leap of faith together... and again bam! he answered. then, as if that wasn't answer enough, i had one more condition. i said i would go if i could find care for the girls while i'm gone and i could raise that kind of money. this time God answered me differently.
he said no.
he wanted me to trust him.
he said he would take care of the girls and the money, but i needed to say yes first.
so i did.
that brings us to today. as i prepare my heart for this trip, i know this is where i am supposed to be. i think, as a mom of young kids, i used it as a reason to put God's calls in the far distant because he would never ask a mother to leave her children, right?
wrong. he would. he did and honestly thats the hardest part about this trip. just the thought of saying "see you later" to my girls for 8 whole days, when the longest i have left them so far is for 1 day. that thought brings me straight to tears every time it crosses my mind. but again.. i know God wants this.
i feel like through this trip he wants to show me:
1. londyn and berkley are his.. he can take care of them. and there are many other people here capable of helping while i'm away.
2. even though i don't feel smart enough, good enough, whatever enough, he will equip me for this trip and his glory will be seen.
and i'm sure thats only the beginning of what he will show me.
so if you are still reading, thank you! haha i cannot express my appreciation for you all!
and now to one of the hardest parts of this trip.. asking for help. why is it that this is so hard? i think it's just so completely humbling to ask others to support you in prayers and finances. its so humbling to also know that God is handling it all.. that he cares so much for me to go to haiti that he works it all out. wow wow wow.
so ...if you would like to support me in my trip to haiti through prayers and/or finances, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or message me on facebook. i would love it!
thank you again for taking this journey with me!