Friday, January 20, 2012

that time.

sooo...its about that time! the haiti trip is quickly approaching and its just another chance for God to shine! i like to think God likes to show out in his special God way. i can just see him laughing in heaven as we are all shocked and completely amazed at how things all come together before something like this... like a trip to haiti.

ok.. i feel as though i'm not making sense... let me back up. i don't think i have shared my story with you yet. i want you, my supporters/encouragers/prayer warriors, to know the story of how i was called to go on this haiti mission trip... so here it goes. 

it all started several years ago when God laid haiti on my heart. aaron and i had looked into adoption and asked God to lead and for some reason he kept bringing up haiti. when God told us to put this on hold, we were unsure why but followed. two months later we found out we were pregnant with the girls. (sidenote: adoption is still very much on our hearts and know it is for our family. now we're just wait for Gods direction... i'll post that story later.) then, fast forward to several months ago. haiti came back... in everything. (sidenote #2: when God is trying to show me something.. he puts in everywhere and by everywhere.. i mean e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e) i remember first reading about the trip through a post on twitter and knowing at that very moment i was supposed to go. even though, i tried to make God work a little harder. i told him i would think about it but if aaron wasn't on board then i was out.. well, aaron was totally on board. then again, i said "yes God, but...". this time i told God i needed someone to go with me, someone i knew, that also had kids they would be leaving here so we could take this leap of faith together... and again bam! he answered. then, as if that wasn't answer enough, i had one more condition. i said i would go if i could find care for the girls while i'm gone and i could raise that kind of money. this time God answered me differently. 
he said no.  
he wanted me to trust him. 
he said he would take care of the girls and the money, but i needed to say yes first.
so i did. 
that brings us to today. as i prepare my heart for this trip, i know this is where i am supposed to be. i think, as a mom of young kids, i used it as a reason to put God's calls in the far distant because he would never ask a mother to leave her children, right?
wrong. he would. he did and honestly thats the hardest part about this trip. just the thought of saying "see you later" to my girls for 8 whole days, when the longest i have left them so far is for 1 day. that thought brings me straight to tears every time it crosses my mind. but again.. i know God wants this. 
i feel like through this trip he wants to show me:
1. londyn and berkley are his.. he can take care of them. and there are many other people here capable of helping while i'm away.
2. even though i don't feel smart enough, good enough, whatever enough, he will equip me for this trip and his glory will be seen.
and i'm sure thats only the beginning of what he will show me.

so if you are still reading, thank you! haha i cannot express my appreciation for you all! 
and now to one of the hardest parts of this trip.. asking for help. why is it that this is so hard? i think it's just so completely humbling to ask others to support you in prayers and finances. its so humbling to also know that God is handling it all.. that he cares so much for me to go to haiti that he works it all out. wow wow wow. 
so ...if you would like to support me in my trip to haiti through prayers and/or finances, please email me at or message me on facebook. i would love it!

thank you again for taking this journey with me!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

my word.

so at the beginning of last year i was listening to this radio station that was encouraging everyone to choose a "word of the year". i wasn't sold on the idea, not being a new years resolution kind of girl, but God had other plans. he kept placing the word "content" on my heart, therefore i chose that word and wow. he used it in so many ways throughout the year to teach me. pretty much i still have a ton to learn, but its been amazing to focus on one word for an entire year and see what God does with it. i went from thinking it only meant,  definition a) a state of satisfaction, to realizing God wanted me to be content in who he made me and where he put me for this very moment in time. which on the completely other end of the spectrum i realized he wants me never to be content and stay still.. he wants me always searching after him, listening to him, moving when he says move, and staying when he says stay.. ok, i could talk about that word for days. ask me about it sometime.. love it!
so the new word. i promise this all relates back to the purpose of this blog. my word for this year that God led me to is "discipline". i actually thought about this being my word last year, before i realized God already had mine picked out. so.. if you wanna know a little about me, you must know i have no true discipline in my life. i'm not one of those people that do things daily because i say i will. i never lasted very long at any sport (softball one year), any sort of music lessons (piano as a kid, guitar in college..1 semester), i made it through college by many midnight cram sessions, i would never go to the gym on my own without knowing someone is waiting on me.. and hardest but true, i have always had a very hard time having daily time with God in his word. so, this word is one i need. one to focus on, one to learn about, one to place into action. this last week, God brought this verse to my mind
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."  
-Matthew 16:24
growing up in church, i've probably heard this verse over 100 times in my life yet this time was different. i realized, as i was running on the treadmill listening to my heart pound like never before, i don't deny myself. i suppose i can blame it on america and having everything we would ever need at our fingertips, but holy cow.. it hit me in the face and i take full responsibility. how in the world can i be a disciple of Christ if i don't deny myself of anything? if i'm hungry, i go to the kitchen and get exactly what i want. if i'm cold, i put on socks. if i need something, i go to the store and get it. if i'm tired, i sleep. ha! seriously. i realize that when i became a parent i thought i lost all of the "what i want" when really i still have everything. i may not be able to go shopping like i use to, or visit with friends over coffee.. but really.. when do i deny myself? so as i was at the gym at 4:45 friday morning i realized.. i am somewhat denying the sleep i use to get for the cause of these orphans in haiti but thats only the beginning. what else can i deny myself of? i asked God that question.. and he is showing me. it turns out i am alot more selfish than i thought i was. :) thankful when God pushes, he does it with a sense of humor and i love that about him. 
thank you again for reading and encouraging me throughout this journey. praying God brings a word to your mind for this year ahead. a word he wants to be yours.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

did you say a.m?

so today was day 1 on the insanity process of training for a 1/2 marathon. brandy, my personal marathon trainer/crazy enough friend that believes I can do this decided to start our training process at 4:45.....a.m. yes, that time does exist. (i found out this morning) in all honesty, it was a challenge to get there. i have never been a morning person and I don't like coffee so there ya go. it really went well though. (thank you brandy!) i know this is only day 1 but I'm very excited and ready to keep moving forward.

and a favorite quote that fits this morning..
"promise me you'll always remember:
  you're braver than you believe,
  and stronger than you seem,
  and smarter than you think."
  -christopher robin
  (winnie the pooh)

Sunday, January 1, 2012

the beginning.

recognize my blog title? mumford and sons pretty much pierced my heart with these words. if you know me well, you know that once i get a favorite song i listen to it on repeat ... for like a week.. or two.. maybe more. anyway, this one is a favorite and it goes like this
"in these bodies we will live.
  in these bodies we will die.
  where you invest your love.
  you invest your life."
this pretty much sums up my reasoning for this blog. i want to write as i begin a new journey.. a journey of changing my perspective to one of love. i want to love more. love better. love all. i want Gods love to shine through me where people don't see me anymore. where they only see Gods great and amazing love for them. i want to invest the love God has placed in me. i want to invest my life.

before you get too far, let me address a few things. 

number 1 - this is not a new years resolution. its a life change. yes, it happens to land on january 1st.. but its been coming for some time.

number 2 - i am not asking for anything other than your prayers and support throughout this two part journey i am starting this year.

sooo.. here it goes! i am beyond thrilled to say that i will be doing at least 2 things is 2012 that i have never done in my life! It all began with a little push (ok.. big push) by God. he has actually been placing haiti on my heart for several years now. i never really knew what to do with that except pray. pray for the people there and pray that God would continue to show me what more i could do. well long story short, i am going with a team from central to haiti february 11-17! i am thrilled and scared all at the same time. (i'll explain all of that later) but for now i am standing on his words
"have i not commanded you? be strong and courageous. do not be terrified; do not be discouraged; for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you may go." -Joshua 1:9
thank you God for your words to meet us exactly where we are.

this part actually just came up a few days ago, and just like the trip, i also felt God's push to do this... AND it also involves haiti! so for those of you that know me, you know i am not athletic.. at all. i've never played sports. (except for softball that one year where we didn't win a game all year but we got a free mellow yellow after every game so.. you see my motivation.) well, a few days ago i read a post of a friend who helps run an organization called hands and feet. this ministry works directly with an orphanage in haiti to provide basic needs and care. to help raise money this year, they are asking 50 people to join them in raising money and running the nashville 1/2 marathon. yes, me. i want to be one of the 50. i know. i'm not a runner. i've never run a mile without stopping. this is the amazing part. 
for all of this. 
the trip. 
leaving my family for 8 days. 
traveling to a country i know very little about. 
learning to run.
running a 1/2 marathon.
oh and yes.. raising money for all of this.
all of this can only be done by God. 
i know he has called me to do both of these things. i say yes because i know that somehow through these things, he will get more glory.. and because of that.. here we go!
invest your love.
invest your life.
learning to say yes to Gods call, big and small.

please go with me on this journey in prayer and encouragement. i know every day will not be easy but i know i will not be alone. 

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." -Philippians 4:13
not just physical strength, but by his strength i can share my story and see these impossibles (in my eyes) become possible.

thank you God for whoever is reading this. thank you for bringing them to this blog to walk with me on journey. please let them see today how much you love them. please let them see life through your eyes. give them a perspective of love for those around them. change our hearts God. change us to love. change us to live a life of love so others see you more.